Archives for June 2, 2008

A couple years ago, I was in the thick of practicing my horn daily. Then life hit, and hit hard. I lost a close relationship, and in the process of grieving that loss, I lost all interest in the horn for quite a while. Then, while still climbing up out of that valley, my job of fourteen years as the copy manager for a Christian publishing house got lopped in a restructuring. The company played fairly toward me with a gracious severance, but still, it was another significant loss. The older I get, the more the losses accumulate, and in the face of them, sometimes the last thing I feel like doing is playing my horn.\r\n\r\nThe plain truth is, there”s a lot more to life besides playing the saxophone. And yet, I was made to play the sax. It”s a passion, and more than a passion–it”s a gift from God. No matter what gets thrown my way, sooner or later I always seem to come back to the horn. Not that I”ve ever gotten totally away from it. There”s an ebb and flow to practicing for me that corresponds to patterns in life, but I”ve always at least played in church and kept my chops in basic working order. However, reestablishing a diligent practice routine takes effort. Licks and scale patterns that once were second nature may still be there, but they lose their quicksilver fluidity without consistent maintenance. You just don”t hop back on board a Bb diminished whole tone scale the way you do a bicycle.\r\n\r\nStill, the good news is, the chops do come back. I suppose, once you”ve laid their original foundation, you”ve got something you can return to that you didn”t have when you first started. The fingers don”t need so much to be re-taught as reminded of what they already know. The brain rapidly responds to a few ii-V-I”s in all twelve keys, and to dominant patterns around the circle of fifths. It”s fun. The challenge is, life is still life, and these days, it has a lot of demands. Sometimes those demands can be exhausting. Another day can escape me before it seems like it has even started, and I realize–as I do right now–that I haven”t practiced. That”s the tough part: carving out time for my instrument. It”s important that I do so. And I want to do so.\r\n\r\nI guess that”s one of the things that makes me, or anyone, a musician: the desire to keep at it. Sometimes the desire goes underground for a season, and that”s not always a bad thing. There have been times when I have purposely taken a “music fast,” setting aside my horn to remind myself that Jesus, not my saxophone, is the one I serve. Other times, when I”m down, I simply don”t have the heart to practice. But I always come back to the horn.\r\n\r\nLast spring, I attended my friend and fellow storm chaser Kurt Hulst”s wedding down in Louisiana. At the time, I was really feeling grief-stricken over the lost friendship I mentioned earlier. I had hardly touched my horn in quite a while; I just didn”t have the heart for it.\r\n\r\nBut Kurt and Abbie had asked me to play for their first dance, and of course I said I would. When the time came, I took the stage and played an acapella ballad for the newlyweds while the jazz quartet took a breather. After hearing me play, the band leader–a sax man from New Orleans–invited me to sit in with them. I was a bit hesitant, knowing how rusty I was, but I accepted his gracious invitation. And I surprised myself.\r\n\r\nI can”t tell you how good it felt, after having not played jazz for so long a stretch, to play it once again. The music was still there, and releasing it was like coming alive. The band moved from a blues to Rhythm changes, and those were there, too. The band leader and I traded fours in a brief and enjoyable tenor-alto battle…and on it went for the rest of the set, and part of the next. We cooked.\r\n\r\nThat afternoon with the band was a gift, and the frank approval of those Louisiana musicians was much-needed affirmation. Afterwards, I realized how badly I had needed it all.\r\n\r\nThis coming weekend, I”m playing with two different groups at the Grand Rapids Festival of the Arts. Am I preparing myself? You bet. I want to be at my peak when I do one of the things I love best: play my sax. And I will be. I”m working those patterns, those altered scales and arpeggios so they”ll fly off the buttons when I need them.\r\n\r\nSoooo…Friday I hope to chase storms, then Saturday and Sunday I play at the Festival. I can”t imagine a better way to spend the first weekend in June. And if you”ve got the jazz in you, you know what I”m talkin” about.