You’ve heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), right? Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s kid stuff compared to Supercell Deficiency Syndrome (SDS), a condition unique to storm chasers.
If you’re not obsessed with wild convective weather, you’ll think I’m crazy, but storm chasers know exactly what I’m talking about. You pine for warm temperatures, rich dewpoints, and high CAPE. You crack open your front door on a windy day just to enjoy the shear created by the draft. You empty a feather pillow in front of an electric fan and yell, “We have debris!” You”re desperate.
Me too.
A few minutes ago, I looked out the window to see snow flying across the parking lot here at my apartment. Yes, snow. You know: the stuff we Michiganians wax rhapsodic over at this time of year. “O lovely snow!” we say, omitting the “h” in true poetic fashion. “Lo, how it joyously pirouettes like myriad ballerinas from the soft November ether.” We love snow.
By February, though, our opinion of snow has modified somewhat, as have the adjectives we use to describe it. Snow is no longer soft white dancers twirling gracefully earthward. It is frozen pigeon poop in flake form plopping out of the sky to cover the roads with slush and ice. We no longer say, “Look at the lovely snow!” We say, “Look at that $%@& filthy white crud!” We hate snow.
Today, I notice that the snow is accompanied by wind, which as a general rule I”m fond of, but not at this time of year. Wind in April is glorious; wind in November is freekin” coooooold! I think to myself, “Four months before storm season.” Then I think, “Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!”
Okay, well, by now you”ve gotten a feel for the kind of guy I am. Positive. Creative. Motivated. Do you think for a minute that I intend to spend this winter languishing indoors, cocooning myself in the throes of SDS, weeping and pining away for the lack of decent storm chasing weather? Yup, that’s the plan. No, wait a minute…I mean, no way! I’m an upbeat kinda guy, a regular little sunbeam, so of course I have a goal for these next few months. I”m going to use them to bone up on my forecasting skills. I’ve contacted the National Weather Service here in Grand Rapids, and I”m making arrangements with a couple of the meteorologists there to give my two storm chasing partners and I a little coaching. I”m totally serious about this. I”m hoping that by the time the 2008 storm season begins to roll in sometime around March, my buddies and I will know a lot more about severe weather forecasting. We didn”t do bad in 2007, not for three lads from Michigan. But I”d like to do better this coming year. I’d like to be equipped to make better, more knowledgeable judgment calls in the face of the constantly shifting atmosphere. I know enough now to realize that, when all is said and done, some decisions will still be a flip of the coin. It’ll just be a better-informed flip.
Okay, okay, enough on that, eh? I’ve grown into an incorrigible weather freak, and some of the stuff I””ve written is probably gobbledegook to you. That”s one of the joys of learning: building up a huge stockpile of terminology to sling around, thereby impressing myself with my vast knowledge and boring the crap out of everyone else.
In all seriousness, I miss the storms. I really do. They make me come alive in a very special, wonderful way. But Supercell Deficiency Syndrome or not, I”ll make it through this winter–and you will too. These next few months are just a reminder that life has its seasons. And, like you, I have things to keep me occupied. Besides educating myself in weather, I hope to get more involved in my church and build my writing and music businesses. I’d like to make this frozen season a fruitful one. By God”s grace, I will.
So maybe winter isn’t such a bad thing after all.
But snow is still frozen pigeon poop. That”s my opinion, and I”m stickin” to it like bird turds on cold pavement.
